Contents Include: Kittens and The Date Where Someone Else "Did It".

In the past couple of weeks not a whole lot has happened, but here is the briefing:

Crazy-looking bearded guy finally wrote me again after our first date saying we should hang out again when he’s in town.  I said “Sure!” and am waiting for a follow up email.  I’m not all giddy like I would have been for a second date with "Mark" (see Three Men and a Maybe post), but he seems like an interesting fellow and it can’t hurt anything to get to know him better.

On the not-free site there has been another “guided communication” with a new man.  His profile pic has him lying with a kitten snuggling up under his neck.  A cheap shot on his end?  Yes.  Effective?  Yes.  We’ll have to see if he makes it past the last phase where I lost the other guys.  I’m also rethinking my standard question about what is his relationship with money.  I’m afraid it has had the opposite effect where men think I want them to have lots of money to spend on me.  How do I take that one back with the guys it maybe drove away?  Can’t.  But I can’t worry about it either; I can just ask a better question.  Money is really personal anyhow, so maybe it was too soon to ask something like that.

The one guy who made it past the money question and whose first email to me I grumbled about on my last post still hasn’t phoned me.  So what I did was use the “Secure call” feature to give him my number instead of calling him like he asked.  Can’t worry about that one too much either.

But tonight I am going on a date!  A friend date…

*Argh!  I wrote that last line and then went away to Indiana for the weekend.  Without my computer for 24 hours was megasweet!* 

Anywho, my friend date was with my male friend/exroommate/notpotentialboyfriend.  We saw “Spring Awakening” which is a musical play about sex and being a teenager.  The man that did the music is my dream husband Duncan Sheik so I’ve wanted to see it since I heard about it (years ago!).  I found two incredibly cheap tickets almost a month ago and the closer it got to the day the more I worried about who to invite.  I invited my buddy because he isn’t a Christian and likes things like this and also would be reliable for good conversation about it afterward.  I realized that a sex-themed play of uncertain levels of graphicness would not be good for a real date.  But I’d find out real quick how stodgy a guy is by sitting next to him during this play!  My dude friend was the right choice, even if he did giggle during the sex scene.  My ideal man would love engaging in art with an open mind and an analytical eye.  And if he shielded his eyes from the sex scene then I’d know I had a keeper!

Loving People. Especially Dream Man if He Shows Up.

Happy Valentines Day!  It’s 8pm and I’m about to go to sleep.  Because A) I’m working my third 5am shift in a row tomorrow and B) because I don’t have a good reason to stay up late and lose sleep.  I am a single girl on a couple’s holiday.  I am the girl who bought a bottle of Anniversary Ale (potent beer) and a bottle of Red Wine.  I am the girl who bought herself flowers and chocolate-based dessert.  I am the girl who has never had a honey on this day of the year.  But I am also the girl who went on with her day, felt especially flirted with by one of her managers, who taught her roommate to make guacamole and then made him a rosemary sparkling soda, who ate leftover BBQ Pulled Pork sandwich for dinner and drank 1.5 glasses of wine while watching a slasher movie, then ate that chocolatey dessert with fresh blueberries.  Mmm.

It’s funny that the above manager said he didn’t understand why any girls were single, as if anyone tolerable-looking would have dozens of men waiting earnestly for her to answer his calls.  It’s also funny that he was all complainy about being single and how there were so few single girls at work, yet I didn’t feel that upset today about my lack of prospects.  It didn’t even bring me down or tempt me to complain that our boss hired nearly all taken men too.  Good day I think.  Flowers were cut for three water glasses that I placed around the house for my roommates to enjoy.  I’m spreading love around.  Because why not?

And yes I realize that my manager was being way obvious.  But he’s a sweetheart, so it’s not creepy.  It is disappointing and not at all tempting since he is highly, highly not my type.  Too bad.

Time for bed where hopefully Joseph Gordon-Levitt will be waiting for me.  In my dreams I mean.  Not in my bed.  Though I really really wouldn’t mind if that’s a part of my dream.  

The Best Bad Date Pay-off To Look Forward To.

Oh Lord.  Lord, can I just ask for some fellows on either of these sites to respond to me and be not completely weird?  I’m not showing my weird card at least until the first date (where it will be impossible to hide anyhow).  There are cool guys out there.  Somewhere.  Some of them are online.  Please help them to see what an awesome dame you’ve created here.  I’m usually pretty great.  I don’t need to settle for weirdoes because you have someone for me that I don’t have to convince myself to like.  Thanks Lord.  I know you’re taking care of me here, so that’s pretty comforting.

Strange man #1: Writes me on the FreeSite the following- “If I may be so bold, I think you are absolutely gorgeous! My name is *bleep*, May I take you to dinner please?”.  Provocative and bold indeed.  He gets “better” in his profile where he writes things like

“My heart jumps with a moment of passion. My eyes get lost into her gaze and my mind wanders into endless possibilities. I dream poetically and passionately, of her soft tender touch. My lips quiver with the desire for her kiss. I need her, I want her, I desire her.”

And “I am drawn towards people who are successful and not kicking sh*taround in a back alley dump.”

What a darling weirdo.  I almost want to have dinner with him just so I can write about how crazy that experience would be.  But I’m not going to due to the not unlikely chance that I’ll end up having to smack him in the face within the first five minutes of dinner.  Conversely that situation makes it still tempting since I think he could use that or a drink thrown in the face.  Really the more I talk about it the more I just want to throw my drink in someone’s face.  If I’m lucky I’ll get the chance while I’m still single.

Strange man #2: On the not free site one of the original men I communicated with has finally completed the last part of guided communication with me and immediately wrote “it’s time to speak.  What’s your number?  Alternatively, feel free to call me anytime at…”. 

Sigh.

Can you be at least a little conversational there?  Your first email to me sounds like a robot asking me for a phone date.  *robot voice* “It is time to communicate over the telephone.  Please contact me at your convenience for a verbal scanning of our compatibility”.  *end robot voice*

Again.  Lord.  Please.  Help me out a little here.

The Trouble with Grammar and Gorgeous Guys

I just got matched with a guy who has many marks against him just for the careless manner in which he wrote his profile.  He’s 31, a truck driver and has yet to learn the difference between “then” and “than”, spelled “probably” as “probally”, never uses spaces after periods or commas, and not only used “lol” lowercased but attached it to the end of “I try to make the world a better place lol!”.

Aaaaaand… I “smiled” at him.  Don’t look at me like that!  He’s unspeakably adorable!  That smile!  A picture of him playing with a dog!  Another of him in a suit!  Who was it that said “A well tailored suit is to a woman what lingerie is to a man”?  True stuff those words.  I think he looks like a nice man.  I’m certain that I make punctuation mistakes all the time.  I’m only one step ahead of him in knowing when to use “it’s” instead of “its”.  Maybe he doesn’t talk much.  Maybe I can just take him places and get to look at him all the time.  

A Date, a Dream and a Dread.

Welp, I met the crazy-looking musician.  Fake name uh… Joe.  He was actually pretty cool!  I didn’t feel very much romantic whirlyness but he was interesting and maybe a little shy.  We saw this comedy play called The Foreigner and I was kind of charmed by the fact that he was laughing louder and more often throughout the play than anyone else there.  Thankfully we got there early so we had time to chat and get to know each other.  Date highlight: Joe had this necklace with a tiny harmonica on it and I said it reminded me of those old cartoons where the Saint Bernard had the hot chocolate barrel on his collar.  He laughed and said something like “This man needs some rhythm STAT!”.  Good times. He ended the night with the ol’ “Let’s do this again soon” which was received with cheerful support by myself.  This of course, does not mean I’ll ever see or hear from him again so I’m just going on with my life and trying not to think about it! 

But of course I’m still thinking about boys because I am essentially still a 16 year-old girl.  There are even a few real life (not online) boys that I talk to sometimes at church.  One is Asian so of course I prefer him over my usual skinny white & bearded type, but only mainly because I would love a completely racially confused baby.  I’m half Hispanic and half White, so that would be like the greatest baby ever.  Like the baby of the future.  Just without the jet pack and self changing diaper. 

On another note, the day dreaded by all singletons is waiting crouched behind a corner with a big “nobody loves me” hammer, just waiting to wail on me for one special day.  This month has already produced three different engagements of friends of mine.  This month.  THREE.  It’s five days into the month!  How does this happen all the time?  Where are people meeting people?  How are people keeping other people interested in them?  I feel like I’m missing something, like I was sick the day they taught everyone how to date in high school.  I don’t even know how (and especially not when) to graciously let a guy pay for stuff.   Ooh!  Storytime!

Once upon a time I met a guy at a “Thirtysomethings” gathering at my church.  We hit it off, I get home and find a friend request from him on FB and an email asking if I’d like to get “coffee or something”.  That turns to dinner at a fancy taqueria, but one where you order at the register and then have your food brought to you.  I step up to order and the lady asks ME if we are on separate checks.  He’s standing back and doesn’t hear so I look at her and whisper “I don’t know!  Uh…… no?”.  So I got to be the awesome girl who made her maybedate pay for her.  He never asked me out again, but did give me the ol’ “Let’s do this again soon”.  The End.