Oh Lord. Lord, can I just ask for some fellows on either of these sites to respond to me and be not completely weird? I’m not showing my weird card at least until the first date (where it will be impossible to hide anyhow). There are cool guys out there. Somewhere. Some of them are online. Please help them to see what an awesome dame you’ve created here. I’m usually pretty great. I don’t need to settle for weirdoes because you have someone for me that I don’t have to convince myself to like. Thanks Lord. I know you’re taking care of me here, so that’s pretty comforting.
Strange man #1: Writes me on the FreeSite the following- “If I may be so bold, I think you are absolutely gorgeous! My name is *bleep*, May I take you to dinner please?”. Provocative and bold indeed. He gets “better” in his profile where he writes things like
“My heart jumps with a moment of passion. My eyes get lost into her gaze and my mind wanders into endless possibilities. I dream poetically and passionately, of her soft tender touch. My lips quiver with the desire for her kiss. I need her, I want her, I desire her.”
And “I am drawn towards people who are successful and not kicking sh*taround in a back alley dump.”
What a darling weirdo. I almost want to have dinner with him just so I can write about how crazy that experience would be. But I’m not going to due to the not unlikely chance that I’ll end up having to smack him in the face within the first five minutes of dinner. Conversely that situation makes it still tempting since I think he could use that or a drink thrown in the face. Really the more I talk about it the more I just want to throw my drink in someone’s face. If I’m lucky I’ll get the chance while I’m still single.
Strange man #2: On the not free site one of the original men I communicated with has finally completed the last part of guided communication with me and immediately wrote “it’s time to speak. What’s your number? Alternatively, feel free to call me anytime at…”.
Sigh.
Can you be at least a little conversational there? Your first email to me sounds like a robot asking me for a phone date. *robot voice* “It is time to communicate over the telephone. Please contact me at your convenience for a verbal scanning of our compatibility”. *end robot voice*
Again. Lord. Please. Help me out a little here.
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