Boozeless and Useless Dates

What a strange couple of weeks since my last post!  For those of you who haven’t heard this from me in person, I gave up alcohol for Lent.  I’m normally a very enthusiastic moderate drinker but I find that I rely too often on booze to deal with such a life as mine.  Funny enough I was thinking about all of the reasons I feel like “I need a drink!” and since Lent started I’ve had to experience 9 out of 10 of said reasons.  Please have a look into my psychosis:

Things that make me want to drink
1) Going away parties at a bar
2) First dates
3) Waiting for a “him” to call anxiety
4) Ladies night with trashy TV
5) Brunch (Bloody Maryyyyyys!)
6) Getting dumped
7) Bachelorette Parties
8) Weddings
9) Stressful days at work
10) Making myself a nice dinner.  Wine just completes it.  Duh.

The last time I posted I was all skittish about whether I was going to be asked out again (#2 having occurred, #3 in the middle of) by the most current man.  Well he finally did and we went out on Saturday.  But it was totally strange between when he asked me (Wednesday) and Saturday  because I had no idea what we were doing, only that he said he’d think of “something interesting”.  Strange because I didn’t hear from him until 40 minutes after I got out of work and I had spent the whole day in a state of anxiety about whether I was getting stood up.  I texted him on my lunch break and he didn’t even respond to that, so I left work expecting to spend the evening alone and trying to distract myself.  I thought, “Well getting stood up IS interesting.  Maybe that’s what he meant.”  When he did finally contact me it was to tell me that he couldn’t think of anything and asked me what I wanted to do.  Major let down.  But I still went out with him, just less enthused about the outing, which must have been apparent because it’s nearly a week later and I haven’t heard from him again (hello #6).

The other parts of my drinking list are pretty self explanatory, only #8 hasn’t happened yet, but it will soon after Lent ends (hence #7 where I gave myself a mini pass to have a champagne toast with my engaged pal).  Every other situation I’ve handled pretty well I’m proud to say. We'll see how hard I hit the bottle after I've been on a few more useless dates.  

I Hate Dating. Part One.

I’m not sure I’ve ever been on a date with someone who seemed as nervous and insecure as I always feel on dates.  I usually loosen up pretty quickly, but with my date on Thursday I just felt anxious the whole time.  I think things went well for a few reasons despite the nerves.  First, we ate dinner for two hours and talked pretty easily the whole time.  The conversation was terrific- just a hint of nervous energy in the air- and he didn’t seem in a hurry to leave at all.  Second, after dinner he was kind of like “what do you wanna do now?” instead of “nice meeting you, take care”.  We walked the long way to our separate bus/train and talked some more.  And third, he said “we should do this again sometime” at our parting (to which I literally said “yes please”).

But I’m also worried that it didn’t go well for a few reasons.  First, I was in high ditz form that night and said some airheaded things.  Second, I sort of criticized him when he was telling me how horrible of a parent the woman was that he was a nanny for, saying that it must be really hard being a single mom.   And third, at one point when we were deciding what to eat I said “Oh but you don’t like fish right?... Was that you?”.  Doh!  I don’t know if he caught that one though.  And he said likes fish sometimes, so that was some other profile I was reading.  Why can’t I control the things that come out of my mouth?  Geez!

… Hold the phone.  In my shame I just jumped on the freesite to confirm whether he had said he hated fish and HE DID SAY THAT.  That only makes half of what I said dumbass-y.  But I also saw something I wish I hadn’t.  Him online at that exact moment!  This makes me squirmy because of an additional bit of info I have yet to disclose which is the exchanging of texts since our date.  Today and yesterday we’ve texted but he hasn’t taken the initiative to ask me out again yet and I’m too traditional and stubborn to ask him myself.  So he’s online either to read my hilarious emails to him for the millionth time or he’s checking out more girls.

 And THIS is why online dating is sucky.  Everyone’s playing the field.  What I want after a great first date is for a guy to be like “Wow, she was great!  I’ve got to make plans to see her again, and soon!”, not “I liked her okay, but maybe something better is just around the corner.  I’ll call her in a week just to keep her around.”  After my date with this guy I found all of the other guys I’ve been communicating with to be much less interesting.  Why can’t that be a two way street?   

A Suitor Steps Up, Another Sits Down, Still Others Begin A-Stirrin'

There’s a new guy as of maybe a week ago.  Again, from the freesite (what!).  He’s an ex-missionary who was a live in nanny over the last year and now works at a “high end burger joint”.  He’s a year older than me and is pretending to shave his beard with an axe in his profile picture.  We emailed a few times and now have a date scheduled for tomorrow night!  He’s actually really funny (finally!) and is taking me for some free food adventures on Michigan Avenue.  I’m excited but also worried that I won’t be attracted to him in person.  It’s even harder to tell what he looks like now since he said he shaved his beard.  What would be worse though is if I like him a lot and he’s not into me at all.  That is a familiar scenario! 

Sometimes I wonder if I’m attracted to guys who don’t really seem that interested in dating me.  This reminds me of a story… I had this great friend who tried to set me up with two different Christian men that he knew.  The first is a story for another time.  The second guy I was supposed to meet at a concert that our mutual friend was performing.  I brought a wing-girl, and thank goodness I did because he never showed up! Later I recounted my disappointment to someone and said “Well he seems to care little about me, so it sounds like he’s definitely my type!”.  True story.

On the site that I paid good money to match me with menfolk there has been another dead end with the latest man to advance through Guided Communication.  The step that required effort slowed another Romeo from climbing my up balcony.  But a few new men started the process so the odds are one of them will come through standing.

BUT!  If this date tomorrow goes well then maybe I don’t have to worry about any of those laggers! 

Wish me luck!