My God's Shotgun Strikes Again

Behold, it is now six months from when I signed up for the not free site and gave them over $200 to help me meet men.  And hark!  Today is the day when I cancel my subscription (since I researched and found it will be automatically renewed “for my convenience”).  I have not met a single man in person for my money.  I have communicated, for various time-lengths, with dozens of men.  Emailed with two (technically) and had a phone call with zero.  I hereby declare this dating adventure to be a failure.  I am not a failure (I remind myself), but it is the site and the men on it who have failed me.  And maybe God chased them all away like a Dad with a shotgun yelling “Ain’t none of you boys good enough for my baby girl!”.  I don’t really think of God as a hillbilly, but I do wonder if all this is Him protecting me.

Can I just rant for a second about boring profiles?  I imagine some of these guys aren’t boring, it’s just that they don’t know how to express who they are and show their personality in their profile.  On either site (but more so on the not free one) it’s 90% guys who say that they are passionate about working out, are easy-going, like to have fun (really!),  loves to laugh (imagine!), looking for someone “genuine”/”down to earth” (who’s the opposite of the latter, really?) and so on.  The “Things I Can’t Live Without” section, to me, is begging to have something funny in it.  Not a space to list “air, water, food, health and shelter”.  That tells me nothing about you except that you are 100% a human being and 100% without a sense of humor.

The good news is that I’m communicating with one (er… two) interesting fellows on the free site.  The first lives in my area and is 39 (let’s call him Forrest).  When did seven years older than me become a reality in people I’d date?  I guess now it is.  As of today we have a coffee date next week!  The only thing about him (enter the “er…”) is that in his profile he mentions a couple of times how he likes ethnic girls who tend to be “browner”.  Cringe/that’s me!  In our emails though he seems way cooler than that bit, so we’ll see about that.

The other fellow (let’s call him Brad) lives in Iowa, but we’re having really great emails that are much longer than with Forrest.  He’s funnier, has more interesting spiritual things to say and is a nice 38 years old.  Okay that last part isn’t a big deal. I mean, I'd date George Clooney no matter what age either of us were!